What to Expect in an IFS Therapy Session: A Beginner’s Guide
If you're considering therapy to help with anxiety, depression, trauma, or any emotional challenges, you might have come across Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. You might be wondering: What exactly is IFS therapy? and How does it work? Whether you're new to therapy or just curious about IFS, this guide will provide you with an overview of what to expect in an IFS therapy session and how it can help you on your healing journey.
What Is IFS Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a powerful, evidence-based approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. It’s based on the idea that we all have different “parts” of ourselves—parts that have different roles, feelings, and needs. These parts might represent our emotions, behaviours, thoughts, and even memories. Some parts are helpful, while others may be stuck in patterns that are no longer necessary or useful, often as a result of past trauma or difficult life experiences.
IFS focuses on understanding and healing these different parts by fostering self-awareness and self-compassion. Through this therapy, clients can learn to identify their internal parts, understand their roles, and develop healthier relationships between them, leading to improved emotional well-being and healing.
Who Can Benefit from IFS Therapy?
IFS therapy can be incredibly beneficial for people struggling with a range of mental health challenges, including:
Trauma: For those with a history of trauma, IFS is a compassionate way to approach the painful emotions that are often trapped in specific parts of ourselves.
Anxiety: IFS helps people uncover the root causes of their anxiety by exploring the parts of themselves that are feeling scared or overwhelmed.
Depression: Many people experience depression because parts of them feel unheard or suppressed. IFS helps to bring these parts into the light to create understanding and healing.
Relationship issues: Whether in romantic relationships or with family members, IFS can help clients understand the parts of themselves that influence their interpersonal dynamics.
If you’re struggling with any of these issues, IFS could be a good fit for you.
What Does an IFS Therapy Session Look Like?
The first step in any IFS therapy session is a conversation with your therapist. Here’s what you can generally expect during your first few sessions.
1. Initial Assessment and Building Trust
Your therapist will begin by learning about your personal history, your emotional challenges, and your goals for therapy. The first session is more about getting to know each other, building rapport, and establishing trust. Your therapist will explain the basics of IFS and help you understand how it can be applied to your life.
2. Exploring Your Parts
As you progress in therapy, the focus shifts to identifying the different parts of yourself. These parts may have specific roles, such as the “inner critic,” the “caretaker,” or the “hurt child.” During an IFS session, you’ll work with your therapist to identify the parts that show up in your thoughts, feelings, or behaviours.
Your therapist might ask questions like:
“What part of you feels overwhelmed right now?”
“Can you connect with the part of you that’s feeling anxious or scared?”
3. Listening to Your Parts
One of the core principles of IFS is that every part of you has a positive intention, even if it’s behaviour seems unhelpful. For example, the anxious part of you might be trying to protect you, even though the way it manifests (e.g., constant worry) isn’t working. In therapy, you’ll be guided to approach these parts with curiosity and compassion, rather than judgment.
Your therapist may help you communicate with your parts by encouraging you to:
Give voice to each part (e.g., “What does this part need?”, “What does this part want you to know?”)
Understand the pain or trauma that led to the development of the part’s emotions, beliefs, and behaviours
Reassure the part that you, as the “Self” (your core, compassionate self), are now in control and able to be present for the parts with open compassion
4. Healing and Integration
IFS therapy works toward healing by helping your parts unburden themselves from past trauma and pain. This process involves:
Helping protective parts relax: Many people have parts that try to protect them from emotional pain by using strategies such as perfectionism, denial, or avoidance. IFS helps these parts trust that your core Self can be present, even with painful memories, so that they don’t have to take on extreme ways of coping.
Transforming exiles: Some parts, called ‘exiles’, hold painful memories and emotions (often from childhood). The goal is to help these parts release their pain so healing can occur.
Fostering harmony between parts: The ultimate goal is to create a balanced internal system where all parts work together in harmony, trusting your core Self to lead.
Your therapist will guide you through this process, helping you to safely confront and process painful emotions, with the goal of healing deep-seated issues like trauma, anxiety, or depression.
How IFS Therapy Helps with Healing Trauma, Anxiety, and Depression
Healing Trauma
In IFS, trauma is not seen as something that defines you but as an event that caused certain parts of you to become stuck in painful patterns. IFS helps you “revisit” these parts and offer them the compassion and understanding that they were missing during the trauma. By addressing these parts, trauma can be processed, and your system can begin to heal.
Reducing Anxiety
Anxiety often arises when parts of us feel overwhelmed or fear certain outcomes. In IFS, anxiety is viewed as a signal that one of your parts is in distress. IFS helps you identify this part and understand its fears, so you can respond from a place of calm and confidence, rather than react in anxiety.
Managing Depression
Depression can be a result of parts feeling unheard, unimportant, or neglected. By identifying and giving voice to these parts, IFS can help heal the root causes of depression. It fosters self-compassion, which is often missing in people who struggle with low mood, and teaches you how to connect with your inner resources for strength and healing.
What to Keep in Mind About IFS Therapy
While IFS can be incredibly healing, it’s also important to approach it with patience. The therapy may take time, especially if you’re working through deep trauma or emotional pain. Some clients experience breakthroughs relatively quickly, while others may need more time to build trust with their parts and the therapist.
Here are a few things to remember:
You are not broken: IFS views all your parts as valuable, even if they sometimes show up in ways that feel disruptive.
Healing is a process: It takes time to work through the layers of emotions, memories, and experiences that make up who you are.
You are the expert on yourself: IFS emphasizes your inner wisdom, and your therapist will guide you in unlocking that wisdom.
Conclusion: Is IFS Therapy Right for You?
If you're dealing with anxiety, depression, or trauma and are curious about IFS, it could be a great fit. It offers a compassionate, non-judgmental approach to healing that helps you reconnect with all parts of yourself. In an IFS therapy session, you can expect to explore your internal world, understand your emotions, and begin the process of healing and integration.
Need More Information?
If you’re considering starting therapy or exploring IFS therapy further, don’t hesitate to get in touch. We’re here to help guide you through this transformative process. Reach out today to learn more about how IFS can support your mental health journey.